Feeling Blessed

These past few weeks have been surreal, nerve-wracking, exciting, and just about every emotion you can think of. About 2 months ago we inquired on many kids. We heard back on one. The ONE. A beautiful 11 year old girl, Sheyanne. We received her paperwork and before we knew it her team was considering us as a permanent family for her.

We had our phone interview with them 2 days before Thanksgiving. We were extremely nervous, however, I knew that if we were honest and tried to be ourselves as much as possible then if it was meant to be God would touch their hearts and choose the right family for Sheyanne. One week later on our 16th wedding anniversary I received "the call".  They had picked us!!!!!!!!!!!! That whole day and they day to follow I was sure we'd get  call or email saying it was a fluke and they had actually picked a different family. I had to keep reminding myself this was finally happening.

It is all feeling very real now! We started getting Sheyanne's room ready last weekend. It needs a few finishing touches, but we're off to a good start. We had our phone meeting to discuss any questions/ concerns we may have and schedule our visits. In spite of her overwhelming life she's had we do feel very good about her and we are excited to move forward with adopting her. We booked our first trip for 3 days after Christmas. We'll spend 3 1/2 days in Arizona getting to know her. I am so excited I can hardly stand it!!!

Sheyanne's therapist accidently told her about us. She read our letters and showed her our pictures. Her caseworker saw her right after she received the news and said she was surprised at how happy she seemed. She even used the word "jovial" which made us hopeful she'll be OK with the idea of us. One of my biggest fears is she'll completely reject us.

After a year of classes, countless hours of inquiring and following up with caseworkers, thinking and praying for this I have so much fear that comes with being an adoptive parent. The fear that something will happen and take all our dreams of this little girl away from us. I am hesitant to talk to people about her for several reasons. Fear of it not happening and fear of peoples questions. I have never been in this circumstance since we got Stella and Tristan as babies. With an 11 year old she has been through unimaginable things. I know I must protect her the same I would Stella or Tristan. It's foreign to me. We are learning as we go and I believe we will learn more from her on this journey than she will from us!